So I was working today and these hippies came into my lane, two girls and a guy. Now I don't have anything against hippies, but please.... for the love of God.....bathe or shower or put on some deodorant or something. I had to control the muscles in my face from contorting into a death mask of revulsion while I rung up their stuff. I don't know if they were real hippies or not but they had all the signs. One girl kept saying stuff about revolutions and using the term "righteous", the other had armpit hair longer than my goatee, they asked for paper instead of plastic (which we didn't have), they bought soy milk and wheat bread, and they didn't have enough money. Ok so that last one isn't a characteristic of all hippies (hell they must be rich if they're buying all that pot) but still it was a little annoying. They were short exactly two cents and they knew it but waved it off as if it didn't matter. Now I probably won't lose my job for being two cents short, but at least have the decency to inform me or apologize or ask me for it. Don't stand there like the rules don't apply to you. While this is going on the other girl still won't shut up about revolutions so I said to all of them "It's okay I don't really need your two cents." I don't think they got the joke. Hell I don't even think they were real hippies, they were buying Neutrogena hair care products and shower gel. I really wanted to tell them that the bathroom is on the right, feel free to use those products right away, but they left in a daze with their scent lingering strongly in my personal space. Damn hippies.
By the way, I find it a bit strange that my roommate and I have been listening to Patton Oswalt for a while now and he shows up at my work. Then I mention smelly hippies in my last post and
they show up at my work. I sense a pattern. So with that in mind: FREE MONEY.
