Caldo de Oso
STEP RIGHT UP!!! READ ABOUT STUPID STUFF THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME AND NEVER GET THOSE MINUTES BACK!!!!!! MARVEL IN ASTONISHMENT AT THE SMALLEST HAPPENINGS IN MY DAILY LIFE!!!! REGRET THE TIME YOU HAVE WASTED!!!! ENJOY!!!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Saturday, June 24, 2006
So far no free money. Maybe I should play the lottery. In other news, many Mexicans have come into my work recently and asked if they could buy the movie "Cars". You know, the same one that's in theatres? The same one that'll be out on DVD in months? No one else has asked me that but Mexicans. I'm guessing they've been doing that at every store in town. I hope it's due to some language issue, because since I'm pretty much Mexican while I'm down here I don't want people to think that I'm stupid. Maybe I should just change my nametag to Pedro. Then you could vote for me. HAHA!!! That was genius.
Monday, June 19, 2006
So I was working today and these hippies came into my lane, two girls and a guy. Now I don't have anything against hippies, but please.... for the love of God.....bathe or shower or put on some deodorant or something. I had to control the muscles in my face from contorting into a death mask of revulsion while I rung up their stuff. I don't know if they were real hippies or not but they had all the signs. One girl kept saying stuff about revolutions and using the term "righteous", the other had armpit hair longer than my goatee, they asked for paper instead of plastic (which we didn't have), they bought soy milk and wheat bread, and they didn't have enough money. Ok so that last one isn't a characteristic of all hippies (hell they must be rich if they're buying all that pot) but still it was a little annoying. They were short exactly two cents and they knew it but waved it off as if it didn't matter. Now I probably won't lose my job for being two cents short, but at least have the decency to inform me or apologize or ask me for it. Don't stand there like the rules don't apply to you. While this is going on the other girl still won't shut up about revolutions so I said to all of them "It's okay I don't really need your two cents." I don't think they got the joke. Hell I don't even think they were real hippies, they were buying Neutrogena hair care products and shower gel. I really wanted to tell them that the bathroom is on the right, feel free to use those products right away, but they left in a daze with their scent lingering strongly in my personal space. Damn hippies.
By the way, I find it a bit strange that my roommate and I have been listening to Patton Oswalt for a while now and he shows up at my work. Then I mention smelly hippies in my last post and they show up at my work. I sense a pattern. So with that in mind: FREE MONEY.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
So I was working at that retail store I work at. I was in the candle aisle and I saw the guy in the picture come into the aisle and buy some candles. It was none other than Patton Oswalt. (who?)
Yes him. For those of you who don't know him he is a comedian. A very funny one at that. Buying candles. In Murfreesboro. Strange. After talking to him I found out he was in town for a music fest. I think it's called Bonnaroo or Smelly Hippie Convention, one or the other. Anyway he's a minor celebrity that I was actually pleased to meet cause I respect what he does. It's not like I was meeting Tom Cruise or some other crazy asshole. Didn't ask for an autograph cause who gives a damn about someone's signature. He seemed like a nice guy, though and actually apologized to me that he couldn't shake my hand cause he was holding a whole bunch of crap. So that was cool. Then he left and I sank back into the pit of Red and Khaki despair.