Sunday, November 12, 2006

Work Happenings

Ok I did it. I'm embarrassed but I did it. I bought two 10th Anniversary Tickle Me Elmo toys from my work. They are sitting in my room waiting to take advantage of a desperate parent with money to spend who just HAS to get their kid the "Toy of the Season". I actually got up at 8am to go buy them. It's sad, but I'm sure I'll get over it once Elmo makes me a rich man.

An old lady asked me to move six 50lb bags of dog food around so she could get the one that came with a free dog treat inside.

Some degenerate stole a pregnancy test. If you can't afford to buy the test, what are you gonna do if you're pregnant?

A customer wanted to return a widescreen DVD because he didn't have a widescreen TV to play it on. I told him you could play the DVD on any TV, which is true. He refused to believe me and got pissed when I repeated myself 20 times. Idiot.

I want to burn the section of the store that sells clothing for dogs.

Some animal decided to go to the footcare aisle and proceeded to open several packages of insoles, like Dr. Scholl's and that gel crap, in order to examine them and then left them on the floor. For some reason I thought if I had been there earlier I would seen Sasquatch.

Me: "Can I help you?"
Dumbass: "Do you have the DVD of the Borat movie?"
Me: "You mean the one that just got released in theaters?"
Dumbass: "Yeah"
Me: "No"
Dumbass: "But it just came out"
Me: "Yeah......IN THEATERS."

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers."
-Randal Graves


At 7:32 PM, Blogger Josue' said...

There's no shame in buying a "sought after" immediate gratification that some sucker of a parent will spoil their child with only to have the "toy of the season" cast out of their child's favorites BEFORE the new year hits...I say BRAVO and I wish you a swift profit...

That dog-food hag sounds like a real smart person...

Stealing a pregnancy test? Oh geez...a Darwin award progeny in the making....

Widescreen DVD - Widescreen TV + A still-viewable picture/reasonable store employee (you) = Dumb customer that makes store profits increase

"Clothing" for dogs? That's out of my realm of comment...

You should have told that idiot to hand someone a MiniDV cam as they were walking into the theater so that they could capture a nice bootleg for him...

At 8:15 PM, Blogger The D said...

Damn Dave, that post had me laughing hard.

Perhaps he was Gellin' like a fellon?

Perhaps the Degenerate should have just stolen some condoms?

By the by, does Tenn allow the sale of the morning after pill? Bible Belt, I am guessing not.

At 12:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

best post yet. keep em coming (not at ur sanity's expense, of course)

At 9:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every few months I seems to have to move to another computer. Since this is a call center we dont have assigned seats. So, when I leave for the day someone else (sometimes) logs in on that computer after me. Apparently, last night some bastard decided to fuck up the monitor by doing what ever he/she did. Probably spilling diet orange soda all over the place or punching the screen b/c hightouch was messed up. Anyway, my usual spot is now down for the time and I have to hunt for a computer that works properly. This time it only took me two trys and a row up.

At 12:33 PM, Anonymous Yamil said...

another great post.

later and good luck,

At 6:50 PM, Anonymous Juan said...

I love it...I especially like the Randal Graves quote...I can relate to that at my job as well. By the way, I linked you on my MySpace's under 'books'...check it out...

At 10:45 AM, Blogger PhunAndGab said...

I didn't think customers were capable of that level of stupidity


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